When It’s Time To Start Talking About Adult Assisted Living

When It’s Time To Start Talking About Adult Assisted Living

Elderly assisted living: when and how to start the conversation

Moving a chronically ill, bed-ridden or severely cognitively impaired loved one into a senior living situation is one thing. But approaching the conversation about adult assisted living when your loved one is still alert and fairly active can be emotionally overwhelming. No one wants to disrupt the status quo or unnecessarily question a loved one’s ability to function independently, so small concerns often go unspoken until a crisis situation forces the subject.
To allow you and your loved one enough time to research and make an informed decision, we recommend you start the conversation about elderly senior day center before it becomes an undeniable issue. Here are some pointers to help you breach the subject in a loving, beneficial way.

Start the Conversation When the Move is Still a Long Way Off

Assisted Living

Whenever possible, it’s ideal to begin inquiring about your parent’s long-term care desires when it’s still years before it will become an issue. If your older loved ones still enjoy a healthy, vibrant life, they’ll be more likely to accept your questions as a matter of curiosity.

Talk about Other Seniors in Elderly Assisted Living

If your loved one resists the topic of adult assisted living, you can try to get an idea of his wishes by talking about others in senior living situations. Something as simple as watching a movie (try The Notebook, Driving Miss Daisy, Cocoon, Fried Green Tomatoes or Say Anything) that involves elderly assisted living can spur conversation that might illuminate your loved one’s views on the matter.

Ask What Types of Environments They Enjoy

You can find a wealth of information to inform your pursuit apart from the topic of adult assisted living. Start a conversation about crowded places and quiet solitude to see if he’d prefer a smaller, home-based program or a larger, more socially focused facility. If he is at all inclined, you could take personality quizzes or inventories together and talk about the results.

Focus on the Positives

Some seniors resist the adult assisted living because they think of it as being cared for by strangers in an unfamiliar environment. Others embrace the idea because they view it as an efficient way of life that offers superior social opportunity. Do your best to talk up the positive aspects of long-term care.

Be Open to Providing Home Care if At All Possible

senior day centerPut yourself in your loved one’s shoes for a moment. Would you feel comfortable relocating to an elderly assisted living facility if you knew your son had the resources to care for you at his home? For many, caregiving is a burden beyond reasonable expectation because of economic, work or family circumstances. For others, it is a viable option. Having an open mind yourself is the best way to help your loved one keep an open mind as well.

Show Her What Adult Assisted Living Really Looks Like

Some seniors shy away from conversations about adult assisted living because of incorrect assumptions they make about it. The stigma of the institutionalized, smelly nursing home can be broken by a couple visits to well-appointed elderly assisted living facilities in a location and setting your loved one is drawn to.

Get Support

Some situations require additional help from trained professionals. If your loved one refuses to get the help you know she needs, you may need to see a counselor, visit a geriatric care specialist, or join a support group where you can share camaraderie and get ideas. When your loved one’s safety is at stake, don’t let old fears, arguments or patterns keep you from giving the help you know she needs.


retirement housing

Remodeling Your Home for Your Retirement Years

Retirement approaching? Do you know how your home will measure up to your future needs? Let’s take a look…

You really like your own home. You have no desire to move into a retirement community or retirement housing and you don’t want to be a bother to your children. What are you going to do? You will need to evaluate your situation using your head as well as your heart. You can of course read up on a senior care guide or make some phone calls to senior living communities. Above all, don’t wait so long that the decision has to be made by someone else. Think ahead.

The location of your home is ideal for you now but will it be in the future when it is a little harder for you to get around? Is it close to your church, library, community center and favorite shopping mall? Are you involved in your community, does your family live nearby and can you deal with changing seasons as you grow older?

Think ahead. Picture yourself using a walker or a wheelchair, no longer able to drive, needing someone to help you with activities of daily living. There are a few things to consider when you look at your home with a makeover in mind.

retirement homeHome Entry

Do you have an automatic garage door opener? Can you picture a ramp to at least one entry into your house or a railing on the ramp or something as simple as putting a shelf where you can put your groceries while dealing with the door? How do you manage now when you come up to the door juggling bags of groceries while searching for your key? Doors are a problem. They just aren’t designed for easy access by any other means than walking. Consider that a swinging door needs to be wide enough for wheelchair and walker access and you might consider levered handles with a single lock or easy to use electronic key security system.


Decreasing vision is a huge consideration and needs to be dealt with accordingly. Consider blinds or shades that will control glare. All stairwells and hallways should be brightly lit. Think about florescent lights along the basement, attic or dark stairs. Even things like switches and thermostat placement (no higher than 48 inches above the floor and electrical outlets at least 27 inches above the floor). Light switches that can be seen in the dark or touch control switches. Fixtures that can accommodate increased wattage and brighter lighting next to high use areas.

senior apartment san diego


Floors should have a high priority. Think slip resistant and well-lighted floors. Rugs should be secured so they will not slide. Heavy weight, short pile and level carpets are good if they allow easy movement for wheelchairs and walkers. Low gloss finishes will minimize glare. Sounds like pretty nit-picky stuff, but remember we are looking ahead.


Ideally you are already living in a one-story house, but this isn’t always the case. If you have stairs, you will need to think about handrails, non-step treads or even a chair lift. A lot of thought needs to go into how you are going to maneuver around in a house designed for teenagers.

Hallways and Walls

Think about handrails in the hallways, textured wallpaper or matte paint finishes to reduce glare, and electrical outlets in convenient locations. The aim here is to help you safely maneuver around. We take all of these things for granted, but when you are thinking about remodeling, remember to think not only about present needs but about future needs.

One-Story Living

You might want to consider, even now, rearranging your living quarters so that you have bathrooms and bedrooms on the ground floor. Give a passing thought to a Mother-in-Law apartment or separate bedrooms and bathrooms that could conceivably provide living quarters for a caregiver if the need arises.


retirement homes

A kitchen should be easily set up for wheelchair accessibility. Cabinets that have dead space should have lazy susans in the corners, easy glide hardware, “C” or “D” shaped handles, cabinet fronts that can be removed and counters and shelves that can be adjusted up and down. Stoves should have controls that are in the front and easily reached; sinks should be double-sided with levered faucets and spray attachments. Consider a side-by-side self-defrosting refrigerator, and an easy to use microwave oven with a loud timer and easy to read numerals.


The bathroom is probably the hardest room to remodel. They are usually too small and require considerable thought when planning a makeover. Doors need to be larger and easy to approach if using a chair or walker. You’ll want to install a walk-in or roll-in shower where temperatures can be controlled to prevent scalding. Also consider a flexible shower hose and hand held shower head to make it easier to manage if you have difficulty standing up. We are already seeing “touch-less” sinks with heat sensors in some of the nicer restaurants, or at the very least sinks with levered handles. Toilets need to be higher than average and grab bars should be installed in strategic places. Remember non-skid flooring is a must.

Closets and Storage

We’ve all had boxes and clothing items tumble down on us when trying to reach up to the highest shelf in a closet. Closets need to open easily (none of those sliding doors that are always coming off of the runners) and provide easy access to all of the items inside. Think about good lighting level thresholds and adjustable shelves.

This is just the beginning. In subsequent articles we will look at each room in your house and try to decide what means are available to help find that balance between safety and independence.


Senior Independent Living

Consider Senior Independent Living

There really is no place like home. When asked about their preference for housing, most seniors answer, “What l would really like to do is to stay right here.” The person’s own home represents security and independence to most Americans.

Most housing, however, is designed for young. active and mobile people. To live at home, a person must, at the very least, have access to transportation, go shopping, cook. and do household chores. Many of us will lose one or more of these abilities as we grow older.

Nursing HomesOne option is to purchase in home services, to cope with declining abilities. For a fee, an army of workers will appear to cut your grass, wash your windows, cook your meals, do the shopping, and even provide personal care and/or refer your to local memory care facilities. This may be the option for you, depending on the amount of help you need. However, this can be expensive and will require a lot of management and coordination.

For people willing to relocate, there are plenty of options, although there may be some confusion about what all the terms mean. You may hear about “board and care homes,” “personal care homes,” “life care” and “continuing care retirement facilities.” All refer ‘to some type of “assisted living” or service-oriented housing. Alternatively you can consider respite care which is a flexible way to get short or long-term help.

Housing With Services for Seniors

As we age, we want to focus more on activities we enjoy than on the trivial ones. If you feel this way and you’re looking for an environment that will let you focus on the activities and people you enjoy, than housing with services is the place for you. It provides a home in which your medical as well as general clean needs are managed for you.

Housing with Services Include:

  • Assisted Living
  • Board & Care
  • CCRC

Senior Residential Health Care

There are several types of residential care options available in most senior living communities. However, the names used to refer to each type may vary from state to state. In addition, some types will be licensed and required to follow set regulations. It is important to remember that not all settings within any category will be appropriate for people with dementia, or may not be able to provide care throughout the progression of the disease. Therefore, consider how long a setting will be appropriate and when another move may be required. Keep in mind, that moving a person with dementia into a new environment can cause increased agitation and confusion.

Choosing a Nursing Home

Convalescent HomeFor many caregivers, there comes a point when they are no longer able to take care of their loved one at home. Choosing a residential care facility — a nursing home or an assisted living facility — is a big decision, and it can be hard to know where to start. Websites like seniorliving.com could aid in your selection process.

  • Gather  information about services and options before the need actually arises. This gives you time to explore fully all the possibilities before making a decision.
  • Determine what facilities are in your area. Doctors, friends and relatives, hospital social workers, and religious organizations may be able to help you identify specific facilities.
  • Make a list of questions you would like to ask the staff. Think about what is important to you, such as activity programs, transportation, or special units for people with AD.
  • Contact the places that interest you and make an appointment to visit. Talk to the administration, nursing staff, and residents.
  • Observe the way the facility runs and how residents are treated. You may want to drop by again unannounced to see if your impressions are the same.
  • Find out what kinds of programs and services are offered for people with AD and their families. Ask about staff training in dementia care, and check to see what the policy is about family participation in planning patient care.
  • Check on room availability, cost and method of payment, and participation in Medicare or Medicaid. You may want to place your name on a waiting list even if you are not ready to make an immediate decision about long-term care.
  • Once you have made a decision, be sure you understand the terms of the contract and financial agreement. You may want to have a lawyer review the documents with you before signing.
  • Moving is a big change for both the person with AD and the caregiver. A social worker may be able to help you plan for and adjust to the move. It is important to have support during this difficult transition.


senior citizen homes

Assisted Living vs. Nursing Homes for Senior Living

Offering both Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation , St. Paul’s Senior Services, located in San Diego, California is dedicated to providing the highest levels of personal service and a warm, comfortable and actively social environment that will enrich your life. Our approach to care celebrates your unique personality and lifestyle with services designed especially for your needs, so you’ll thrive in an environment of friendship, family and robust support that values and respects your privacy, dignity and independence.

Top Skilled Nursing Facility

We provide 24/7 skilled nursing and rehabilitation facility by qualified nurses with a close contact for you and your loved ones needing short term rehabilitation following a hospital stay. Our interdisciplinary care team consisting of nurses, therapists, dietitians, recreational therapists and social workers to develop a plan of care that addresses skilled nursing care needs and rehabilitation therapy goal necessary for resident to have a safe discharge home or to an alternate care setting we are directed by an experienced administrator whose leadership reflects our steadfast focus on providing the best possible skilled nursing resident care base on the unique needs of the residents.

The Right Level of Assisted Living and Senior Nursing Homes

senior home health careComplete with exquisite residences and expansive views, here you are known, invested in and catered to. At St. Paul’s, we provide the right level of care, including a professionally managed fitness center with on-site therapy services, a licensed nurse and well-trained staff on-site 24/7, innovative, award-winning memory enrichment programs and a vibrant social activity calendar. You’ll enjoy restaurant-style dining and chef-prepared meals with new friends at Josephine’s Kitchen, get pampered in our full-service salon, and schedule complimentary transportation for personal excursions and appointments with our concierge.

Best In Class Senior Living in San Diego County

For more than 60 years, seniors have made St. Paul’s communities throughout the country their own, surrounded by the highest level of support. There are several aspects that separate St. Paul’s from other San Diego independent living communities, but if you ask our residents or their families, they’ll tell you that our range of enrichment programs, high standard of care and service, award-winning memory care program, premier hospitality and our focus on helping residents live an engaging, purposeful life. Explore other St. Paul’s Senior Living San Diego communities.

At St. Paul’s, you’ll find a vibrant atmosphere that values senior living. Gathering areas are purposefully designed to make life more engaging, convenient and social, while a variety of residential floorplans offer comfortable, private retreats in which you can express your individual taste and lifestyle. Even the services we provide are personalized to your unique needs and wishes, and delivered discreetly so that lifestyle always remains at the heart of your experience.

Here, you’ll feel your world grow as you meet new neighbors, get involved and take advantage of the many opportunities we offer to learn, grow and indulge your interests. With a wide range of convenient amenities and activities only steps from your door, life will become more vibrant, and your days will fill with laughter, friendship and an ever-changing calendar of fun and interesting things to do.